Hey, which boy were you out with? Is he your husband? Where did you meet?
These questions amongst our friends in my community ask me is one that brought me embarrassment and shame. In my early days, I used to be very shy and scared when I heard such things, but now I am used to it. I might’ve been walking out with my family members or friends, but no the title that went with it was straight to my lover or husband. Every conversation simply revolves around boys and sex. This boy did this with that boy, this did happen, that didn't happen, will our societal habit of gossip and back-biting ever go away?
There is no such thing as commonsense or sensitivity in the community. Public decency, common sense and acceptance are concepts that our conservative society seems bereft of. God forbid, if a person looks a bit feminine, they’re called slurs, if he is walking or his speech is weak, They’re yet again called slurs. When will this backwards train of thought end? They keep calling us names, disrespecting us, making us doubt ourselves, there is no love for us.
I have been open about your sexuality for 18 years and now I am 28 years old. In my ten years of having come out I’ve seen people’s bodies, clothes and fooding habits change but not their thoughts and the way they treat us. The big thing today is secrecy. The word is used a lot but it is misunderstood. We’ve come to the point where no one can trust anyone’s word. You find out from strangers you’ve never interacted with things about yourself, such as you getting a disease or you behaving in a certain way which first you’ve never done or never could imagine someone would fabricate. This is how fast privacy and secrecy is broken.
This society sees the so called ‘normal’ people lead normal relationships and all seems rosy. Yet cheating, running away, duping, phishing, divorces are higher than ever, yet the LGBTQI+ community getting married off is the biggest social injustice they can target! Society is full of hypocrites and this must change.
Aaditya Rai, is an active member of the LGBTQI+ community working for the welfare of the community as a Gay Activist and the Program Officer at the Blue Diamond Society
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