When it comes to expressing emotion, men aren’t known to be best at expressing them in our day to day life.
Why?
Phrases like ‘Man up’, ‘Men don't cry’, and ‘Men are strong’ are commonly used in men's world.
This is just a stereotypical example: Men are often taught to appear strong. Not just by words people use while talking to them but the examples they are constantly shown. This stigma leaves a strong imprint in their psychology which makes it difficult for men to show their vulnerable side as it means to be weak and unattractive. Not talking about their emotion can result in repressed emotion.
Whereas for women, it's more acceptable to cry and talk about how they feel, even break down.
"Women and men are designed differently," says Psychotherapist Damber Raj Bhatta from Bhatta Foundation. “Repressed emotion in men can result in anger whereas, women carry guilt and regret," he adds.
Bhatta explains "Men tend to turn to path of addiction: Alcohol, drugs, porn, smoking, to numb their frustration which makes them unable to express or cry even more. Their repressed emotions turn into aggression, irritation and even leads to fits of anger.”
It becomes a loop which makes it harder and harder to express their emotions.
The more we don’t talk about men's mental health, the more we tend to miss out on the burden they carry around.
A lot of physical abuses that men have to face go unreported. Men are uncomfortable talking about these dark secrets.
"In trauma therapy, it takes about five to six sessions for men to share about the physical abuses they have endured," says Bhatta.
“It's more difficult for men to open up than women about their personal lives,” says Psychotherapist Tikeshwori Bohara from Bhatta Foundation
She adds, “Men are not likely to continue the therapy session, after the first consultation.”
“It is time we started treating mental health problems like how we deal with our physical problems. Mental health issues should not be considered a sign of weakness,” she states.
“There is no permanent solution for this, however talking about it during our normal conversations, bringing about awareness and creating an environment to hold discussions about it without making anyone feel like a victim would help men express their emotions more often,” says Bhatta.
He adds, “In our society what we lack is acceptance, acceptance that men and women are designed differently and should be treated differently when it comes to psychology.”
We all need to realize that it is okay for men to show their vulnerable side, it is okay for them to seek help.
Educating oneself and friends and spreading awareness may look like a small step, but this is the best way to get started.
In our society we are constantly shown how men are suppose to be.
What men should and shouldn’t do, which leaves us with one question.
Should Men cry?
